| My heart is on a string. |
[Aug. 3rd, 2007|09:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Im so tired of money and owing crap. Ugh why does life have to be so hard=/. Id rather not live it then stress every fucken day. I have to pay so much shit and i dont even make enough to pay anything. I need to have like 2 jobs=/ Or something that will help me out. Ugh I love my son so much and i just want whats best for him. Ive been having so much bad luck.:( Ugh. Please get betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Im like really hoping it will.
I cant stress like this anymore.
fvb ehbr grhb fher |
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| <3 |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|07:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
I havent wrote here in forever again. I get so tired. Im still working at CVS pharmacy. Its going good. I just get tired cause they give me early shifts. I dont mind though. But the bad things right now is that our car broke down and it doesnt work anymore.=/ So i need money to buy a new car. And its so hard right now cause i dont have a license & enrique doesnt ethier. And they want so much for a down payment. It sucks. and somtimes its hard for me to find a ride to work. But i hope i can get one soon. I may get a loan or something. its the only way i can. My babys getting big and hes doing good. Enrique watches him when i work. things are going good between my family:) Im happy. But i just hope good luck comes with me sometime soon.
Bye bye<3
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| Yipee. |
[Jun. 23rd, 2007|08:33 pm] |
I got a job:) At cvs pharmacy! I was so excited!:) But the sucky thing is i dont get paid till next friday:( Since im new in all. But things have been going great for me.:) Im happy, most of time. or just tired from my 8 hours. I work tommorow too. They give me alot of hours and i love it cause i need the money!!
Anyways im so tired. Bye bye<3 I wanna post pictures:) SO Looky!!!
 My baby boy!    
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| I really wanna give up. |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|11:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Im so tired and im so confused. When you fall in love, why do some people fall out? Im hurting so much, Just looking at him hurts me and my eyes get watery but i hold it all inside. I dont really have anyone i can tell my problems too, nobody knows how hard it is for me to be happy. Why do i feel so stuck, why does it hurt so much. I just wanted to feel safe and i want the best for atticus but it seems like im trying to live a dream that will never come true. I hate crying, i hate feeling like this. Why cant he see that. He just likes it, espescially in front of my beautiful boy. What can i do, People tell me and i just seem so dumb about it. I wish it wasnt so hard. i wish i didnt have to be this way, i wish he can open his eyes before its to late. Before i brake and run away and hell never have the best of me.......:(
All I wanted was to know I'm safe.
I Didnt want to lose the love I've found.
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down....
It's not fair how you are......
Loving you was easy once upon a time...
I'm doing the best that I can and I....
I tried and I tried to forget this.......:[
But now i realized that i have Me Myself & I, Thats all i got in the end,
Thats what i found out.
and there isnt any need to cry,
I took a vow that from now on, Im going to be my own best friend.
I know that i will never disappoint myself.
After all the rain
You'll see the sun come out again... |
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| I Love Atticus |
[May. 14th, 2007|03:34 pm] |
It seems to me like Atticus is the only person i can trust and be happy with. Its wierd how you think someone will be the same forever. Its not true at all. Oh well life goes on, and i will be even happier in the end. Hopefully. things have been going kinda bad.=/ I wish things were like before but i cant keep going back. I need to move foward and stay positive for my baby boy atticus. Who i love so much more then anything in the whole wide world. Hes my whole world and without him i wouldnt know were id be today. But yeah ive been still trying to find a job but no luck. Oh well goodluck will come to me someday, even if its not for awhile. Anyways who read this thing. Nobody haha. Im like talking to my self. Oh well. Well ill write in here some other time when things are were i want them to be.=/
Bye bye<3.
Me and my baby.<3 |
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| Growing up |
[Jan. 30th, 2007|12:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  restless | ] |
Damn i cant keep up with this livejournal. but atleast i look at it once in awhile haha. damn Im 18 already haha. it was exciting! and now i can do whatever i want. and my baby boy is 1 already too. yay! we both grow up together. i love it. Im currently looking for a job. yup and me and kike are doing good. iim happy. ofcourse. I just cant sleep sometimes. its hard for me....but oh welll. but yeah things are going great with me and my family. i couldnt have it any better.:] here are pictures! |
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| Wow |
[Dec. 18th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cold | ] |
I havent wrote in here in forever. Maybe because i went threw so many things. Mostly bad things,. but things are WAY better now. and hopefully they stay that way... Kikes been working alot. and ive just been home with atticus, I got use to it so blah. Its alright. I watch my little boy grow up evreryday. Hes already 11 months and hes gunna be 1 in january!:) wow. Im going to be 18 alreeady too. Im gunna be a big girls. haha. I actually thought my family was falling apart..but things got way better and im happy i can say. but u never know what can happen. Ill try to write more. Its not like anyone reads it? i dont know. anyways bye bye. |
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| be the one i need.... |
[Oct. 7th, 2006|02:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Today im so bored. im at kikes work in the office all boredd.i havent updated cause i dont really have a computer but kike bought me a sidekick 3 so ill try to update more...Lately ive been feeling reaaly frustrated because kikes always at work now and me and atticus are always at home and he frustrates me alot because he always wants to be with me, even when i go pee. and sometimes i would like to be alone but me and atticus are never apart. i love atticus alot and i like being with him but i need my time too..its hard right now but its something i have to deal with while kike makes money because we need it. I dont know its just hard right now for me..but blah...thats all i guess.byebye<33 |
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| To her own reflection, she says, i will hold on. |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|09:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
I havent wrote in a long time. dang. anywyays things have been ok with me. they have atleast gotten better. Im taking my G.E.D now so i can work. I kinda live in 2 house but i go to kikes house more. I love it there. i dont have to worry about anything and i atleast have a job. I get paid on friday! woot. dont be jealous. Anyways my baby boy atticus is getting big already! hes going to be 8 months on fridat! Oh my. ha but i love him so much and me and Kike have been good.:) I took my baby pictures last monday! Im gunna show them to everyone!!!!!! YUp im too down! well thats about it. heres the picture<33
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the tv. | ] |
Yesturday i went to knotts berry farm! and i took atticus and it was fun! my family went too and atticus had fun even though he was asleep most of the time haha. We took him to see snoopy on ice and he got scared when it was dark haha. and me and kike got to go on some of the rides because my mom watched him for us. it was pretty fun! i havent been there in awhile! i got so tired though cause it was hot and there was long lines. anyways im tired i just came back from red lobster. yummy.well heres pictures.byebye<3
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| Im alone. |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|09:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
This week or weekend has been hard for me. I hate living with my parents they complain about everything. espescially my dad. We use to be so close, and everything just fell apart when i had atticus. I dont know why. I mean, im still the same girl i havent changed. Im just a new mother. IT doesnt even effect our relationship. but he just stop talking to me and he doesnt buy me anything. He expects me to buy everything my self. I mean im still 17 and im still his responstibility. But he doesnt care about anything. He buys my brother stuff like food and things that he needs and hes 20! It hurts me so much and it feels like he doesnt even want me anymore....It got me so depressed and i talk to him about it but he doesnt understand. i dont need him to buy me stuff i just need a father. i was daddys little girl...and now im just a "girl".. im invisible....The only people who care are my mom and my love enrique and my baby boy atticus....Oh welll...i guess thats just life. goodnight.....
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2006|11:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
Today was an ok day. it was so hot over here in montclair. i hate it so much. anyways i went to the park today with Kike and our baby. it was fun but it was too hot. Atticus turned 6 months today! he can do alot of things now. its so cute. He's so close to his daddy kike. its the cutest thing and it makes me so happy. After the park we just came home and layed around. everythings good. i might get a job at ontario mills. I hope i do! Heres my baby boy. byebye<3:
) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|10:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nada | ] |
It's been kinda awhile. everythings alright. Im so bored here at home. Kikes with atticus. Hes turning 6 months this saturday! hes getting bigger and bigger. But hes still my little baby haha. Omg i started playing runscape again and its like i cant stop playing. its fun! haha. Anyways im still looking for a stupid job! its hard for me i guess because i still go to school! im going to be a senior this year already! hopefully i graduate! thats like my goal. ha. anyways yup so everythings good. so bye bye.<3 |
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| RAwr |
[Jun. 28th, 2006|03:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hot | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lalalala | ] |
Oh god todays freakin hot! ugh i hate being all hot. espescially when i have to take the bus to school. anyways Im bored. Atticus is asleep and kikes watching a movie. haha. Everything is going good. We dont really fight anymore. i like it better that were with eachother all the time. This weekend im going to take atticus pictures! yay! and we got a bank account! Im excited! i never had one before. yup yup. Anyways, so everythings going good. All i need is to find a stupid job! ugh! well thats all for now. bye bye<3
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| Things change. |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|09:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | distressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BLah | ] |
I guess things happen for a reason. even if it doesnt make you happy.
no matter how much i wish things were like before it will never happen.
It hurts but im use to all that now.
I have atticus. he's all i need.<3 |
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| She's cold, but he doesn't care to keep her warm. |
[Apr. 10th, 2006|12:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | none.... | ] |
Another night alone, i cant sleep, i cant think..i so tried of everything. im tried of being hurt and then being apologized too make me forget everything. i feel so....i dont even know the words to describe how i feel. or how he makes me feel on nights like these. im honestly so tired of these nights. they happen over and over and i just cant take it anymore. atticus is the only person who can make me smile and bring me up when im down. he never takes this smile off my face. I love him more then anything, and nothing can compare to what we have. i dont need ANYBODY, but him in my life. because i dont deserve to feel hurt or all those other bad feelings, i can raise him my self, its like im doing that now...but whatever, i dont care anymore. as long as i have him in my life im COMPLETELY HAPPY....... |
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| Every step a closer's a step that we both will regret. |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|05:08 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None. | ] |
Compulsion has stained me
I'm nervously cradling our young love, without known limits love
Like a butterfly cupped in my hands I peek in to see beauty trapped
Confined it flutters
Then it leaves behind colorful dust
To remind me of the special times we've spent
But of course it has to leave my clutch
But enough's never enough to make a dent .
Im losing grip....im tired of everything..I dont know how it feels to be happy for a whole day....theres always something in my way... I dont know what to do anymore....i really donr... |
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